Swift's Phobia
The Bells of St. Anthony's Ep. 16
This one is inspired by a real phobia I developed for a few months in fourth grade. I got over it, though.
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Swift’s Phobia
As told by Helena
The gym of St. Anthony's is an external building, so we have to hike a walkway on the back lawn to get to P.E. Today was a drizzly day, with rain like microscopic snowflakes, after an even stronger downpour last night. The walkway was strewn about with earthworms undulating desperately toward the other side.
Augusta and I found an especially fat one, and knew it was doomed if it stayed in the path of all these stampeding dress shoes and penny loafers. She and I squatted on each side to block this part of the path. Charlotte stopped to admire it as well.
"My kingdom for a fishing pole."
"It is not this day," Augusta said. "This guy's too good to go to waste."
I took the worm up in my fingers, carried it to the grass, and set it down beside a bush.
When I got up, Swift had appeared next to Augusta and Charlotte. She gave Augusta a start, and she's pretty hard to startle. Swift was staring at me in bewilderment.
"You actually touched it?"
"Yeah," I said, wiping my hands. "Gotta get it to safety somehow."
She curled her nose in disgust. "I couldn't do that. They're so slimy and gooey."
"What are you, eight?" Augusta said.
"It's no big deal, really," Charlotte said. "I touch worms all the time."
"Yeah, but you like fishing," Swift said, "so it makes sense." The four of us began walking again. "I hate days like this." She swerved to avoid stepping on another worm. "I hate having to watch my step."
"You shouldn't really be surprised by these two," Charlotte said. "Augusta and Helena love scary movies. The grosser the better. They're always watching one when we hang out."
"Well, it's so much fun watching you squirm." Augusta chuckled. It was true. Charlotte reacted to everything with jumps and whines and sudden fetal positions, and it's all become part of the fun at this point.
Charlotte made a light grimace. "I didn't say I don't like them."
"Is that so?" Swift said, as if she'd gathered some new intelligence on us. "You guys do always have those wild Halloween costumes. I dunno, I like spooky stuff, I guess. It's Esslie that's into the real blood and guts kind of--EEEEGHYAHHHHH!"
She made a flying leap off the sidewalk, slid her tractionless shoes on the grass and fell flat on her butt.
"You all right?" I went to help her up. Her eyes flared like spotlights toward a spot in the walkway in front of Augusta.
There was a big, fat, gray slug across her path.
Swift clung to my arm and whimpered.
"It's just a slug," I said.
"Get it away," she cried. "Ugh, I almost stepped on it."
Augusta squatted beside it. "Yeah, I wouldn't want to kill this thing either."
"I don't care if it dies! I care if it goes squish and its gunk splatters all over my shoe and gets guts everywhere and I can feel every part of it explode--" Swift gagged. "Just do something!"
"Okay, okay." I broke away from her and plucked the slug off the ground. "Look, it's totally harmless."
Swift simultaneously whined, groaned, and moaned, and tried to look away.
I held it closer. "Come on, it just wants to be your friend."
"EEEK! No!"
"'Thank you for not stepping on me, Swift.'"
Charlotte said, "Stop being mean, Helena."
"Yeah," Augusta said, hiding a chuckle. "That's a bit much."
They were right. "Sorry, Swift." I put the slug in the grass on the other side of the walk where it was originally headed. "There you go."
Swift finally calmed down. "Never do that again."
I offered a handshake. "Don't worry, I won't."
Swift cringed away. "At least put on some hand sanitizer first!"
"Okay, fine. Any other requests?"
"Just... Just don't tell Barnowl about this."
Charlotte suddenly got a serious look on her face. "Better do what she says." She didn't have to tell me twice. The Swift/Barnowl beef was legendary at this point, and more terrifying than any monster. We did not need to even tiptoe near the crossfire.
As we proceeded toward the gym, Augusta whispered to me, "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"You bet I am," I said. "We have to get her to movie night."
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