Swift's Envy

The Bells of St. Anthony's Ep. 18

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This week’s particular episode of Bells of St. Anthony’s follows up on both “Swift and Esslie’s Plans” and “Barnowl’s Help,” in case you’d like to take a minute to go back and catch up.

Well, it’s flash fiction, so maybe more like two minutes.

Swift’s Envy

As told by Swift herself

I'd been at that stupid dance an hour, and even that stupid robot was more popular. I specifically told Travis I was going to get a boyfriend just to spite him. Esslie even made a bet with him. I put on my nicest skirt and borrowed my mom's best necklace and even wore heels, and still nobody had asked me to dance. All Esslie owed him was a smoothie, but it's the principle of the thing.

Maybe he was right. Maybe I am too creepy. It's not like I try to be. Well, okay, so I do get a little tickled when I accidentally sneak up on people. But I can't help being short, and I like being quiet. Maybe other people are just too big and loud.

It's not as if I'm ugly. Of course I'm not. I can't be.

At any rate, I'd been circulating around and trying to mingle and trying to catch just one or two male eyeballs, with no success. Theresa Long was up on the bleachers, lying on her back. She didn't have anybody either. She's always been fun to hang around, so I climbed up and sat beside her.

She bent her head up. "Hey Swift. You look nice."

"Thanks, you too." I thought so. "I didn't startle you, did I?"

"Nah, you know these bleachers. You could drop a feather and it'd make a noise."

And right now the whole gym was rumbling with the bass from Charlotte's speakers. "You're not dancing?"

"Nah, I burned all my fuel working on the robot."

"It was pretty impressive. Maybe the maker club will get more members out of this." I shifted myself backward onto the footrest, draping my legs over the seat in front of me. "Nobody'll dance with me."

"Don't see why not. Have you asked anybody?"

"Me? Shouldn't that be the boy's job?"

Theresa lifted herself upright. "I mean, it's the twenty-first century, isn't it? Nothing wrong with being bold."

"Even for me?" I could see a lot of ways that could backfire. I startle a guy from behind, and just as he's calming down, I tell him to dance with me? And I'd seriously expect him to say yes?

"There's bound to be somebody."

But who? I scanned the gym, and it seemed like most of the boys were already attached. Those who weren't were the most obnoxious in the cosmos. I wouldn't let them near me to save my life. Or heck, even to save my dog's life.

Bonnie had her Zeke. Augusta had her Rustin. But who was there for me?

Down in the corner was Barnowl, swaying in the arms of some boy from a different school, someone who apparently found birds of prey attractive. Crap, if even she can get somebody, what about me? Do I have a sign on my back or something?

I scanned further. Hang on, down there at the bottom of the bleachers--

He was sitting with his shoulders slumped, gazing miserably at Barnowl and her date. Not exactly hard to do the math. But geez, does she have a sign on her back? What kind of boy likes her enough to be heartbroken by her?

Except... Wait a minute...

"Theresa," I said, "who's that?"

She followed where I was pointing. "Him? That's Landon. He's in my chem class."

"Does he seriously have a thing for Barnowl?"

"You didn't hear? Her friends tried to fix them up, but it fell through. Huge fiasco."

Now things were coming together. Barnowl surely knew how Landon felt. Anybody could tell he was lovesick if they looked at him, and he wasn't even that hard to look at. She could even take a break from her date and throw him a bone out of pity.

But not if someone else got to him first.

I hurried down the bleacher steps without another word. Theresa was right. I'd been spending the whole night trying to draw some attention, when I should have been on the prowl myself.

"Hey," I said.

Landon shook with that oh-so-familiar start. "Hey."

"You wanna dance?"

"Huh?" He pointed at himself. "Me? Nah, I think I'm good."

"You sure? You look like you could use some cheering up." I lifted his hand, and right on cue, his cheeks went red. Boys like him will freak out if a girl so much as acknowledges him. I was already making his night.

Still, he was steering his eyes away. "I dunno if I'd be any good."

"You'll be fine. Just look at it this way: a girl is asking you to dance."

He began to wrench his gaze toward me.

Landon got up, and I guided his hands to my hip and my shoulder, and we started circling each other to the music.

"Yeah, you feel better already, don't you?" As I spoke, I happened to glance over his shoulder to spot Barnowl still dancing with her guy. She saw me, and saw who I was with, and I couldn't help but grin. Barnowl shook her head with the most disgusted expression I've ever seen.

This was already the best night ever.

Esslie had better decide what flavor smoothie she wants.